Well the next idea to move...

As I Stated earlier I have a few people that I know in Las Vegas.... I have been courted to out there more than once... So I have succumbed. The other day Kim told me that her gay sister, Sharlene offered her place to me to stay with her and her "wife". In a side story, Sharelne was the first girl I ever kissed.... So, I have applied to a few jobs out there. I have been offered to go have an interview today, but since I in East Haven, Ct, and the interview is today I was unable to attend. So once I find a job I am the fuck out of here! I want to visit there first though... So since I am gonna go to LA so I can get my shit I think I will go from Here, the Las Vegas, then to LA, and then go home from LA. I t will cost me an arm and a leg... Who knows how I will do it. but I want to go to Vegas....

Well beside that everything is fine. I am listening to Jewel - Pieces of You, a GREAT CD!

Well that's all I can think of at this time!

Lates!

Well so much for texas :(

Well it is now dead!

So much for getting out of here, or at least for now!

It made me depressed for a bit, but I am OK now. However, I am now thinking of going to Los Vegas. I have a few friends there, and now I need to find a job.. If I do.. I am sooo gone!

I hate this weather! It just started snowing, windy also!

Another thing that got me depressed....

I saw a Red Cross sign on a church down the street doing a blood drive. So I haven’t donated blood in a long time since I was using heroin. Well while going through the interview process, I told them about that use heroin. Well Not only was I not able to donate blood yesterday, I can NEVER DONATE AGAIN! I was pissed. When really angers me, that I have been tested for everything at least 4 times since I quit using! So I am clean, and now on one can use my TYPE O- blood there is needed! I am soooo depressed about it. :(

But I am ok.....

I guess....

Well that's it for today!

Lates!

Well texas seems more likely

I had a nice chat with the owner of the company... she likes me.... The only thing that scares me is they are really in to god.... At this time in my life I am not. It’s just something that I will have to deal with. On the other hand, this whole thing, job, moving god, everything is what my life needs. Who knows!

The rest of my life is going ok. I am not depressed, and in a good mood for most of the time, except in my dealings with my mother!

When I went to see my therapist on Fri, we basically did a review of what has happened in the last 8 months or so there. As she laid everything out one by one. I realized how much I have improved my life. I was actually impressed. However if you ask my mother I haven't done any improvements! FUCK HER! Oh I also told her about Texas, she thinks it’s a great idea! I just hope this actually happens! I will be so disappointed if it falls through! I so need this change!

But I am a little upset with my NA sponsor, I call him and I rarely get a call back. He says that he is working a lot, that’s fine, just call me sometime! Whatever... I think I need a new sponsor.

Since 1986 I needed a fake name that I could do stuff anonymously, so I used the name Jeff Flynn, it came from the movie Tron, the hackers name.... I saw the movie and I loved it.... But about 5 years ago I saw it again it again, and I was wrong! The name was Kevin Flynn, which is my brother’s first name. However, I still use Jeff. Now for the reason for this story..... My Father works for Lego, and he got some Bionicls from an old display my mother wanted dad to sell them, but my dad said that he would get fired if caught. So I chimed it and said I could do it under jeff flynn, and she yelled at me and said grow the fuck up I don't give a shit about jeff flynn! FUCK HER!

So is a hindrance to my recovery, drugs, and mentally. A few months ago I was thinking about my recovery, and I came to the conclusion that she is the main reason that I started smoking pot when i was 13! I can not blame her totally, but she did not help!

Well that's all from me for right now!

Lates!

I maybe moving to texas!

An old friend of the family's oldest daughter, Kim is moving to Texas to work for a graphic design company. Yesterday I was joking with Kim, and I asked if they need a computer geek. Well Long story short, I was asked by the president to send my resume. I did, and she likes it. She wants to know more about me! Yea! A possible chance to start my new life and get the fuck out of my parent’s house!

Bonus: Kim and I have known each other since we were infants! And our parents have been trying to get us together for a few years now.

So n a nutshell...

1. I will have a computer tech job, and kick start my computer tech career again!
2. I will be the fuck out of this goddamn house!
3. Start a new, sober life.

So it's all good....

Sooo this day has been ok.

With that news it made it great.... I really hope this goes through! I have had things like this fall through on me more than once!

I got my fingers crossed!

Lates!

Wow Guess what!??!?!

I AM ACTUALLY HAPPY!!!!!

I think I finally came out of my depression, I have been smiling, and NOT DEPRESSED! It's a weird feeling. I have been depressed for at least 3-4 years!

So I am not going to this place called the Fellowshipplace, Its like a community center, for those with mental issues. They have a computer department, I help them with tech issues, and repair.
I really enjoy going there. I also talk with others, which is an another issue of my I have a tendency of isolating myself.. Which is bad!) So I am socializing and I think going there helped me get of of my depression!

Oh I just came back from LA. I went to watch my baby sister get married. It was a great wedding! It was soo nice I got depressed, 'cos I realized that I fucked up my doing the Vegas thing! What really sucked I was hoping for some sun and defrost my ass from being in CT! But NO it had to rain every fucking day! Oh well it was still warmer there then here!

So in a nut shell life is getting better...

Oh well I cant think of anything else to write.. So this is it!

Lates!